Lost in my own mind.

on Aug 17, 2016

I'm aware that I'm less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I'm so much more than what they see.

I'm ADHD, a condition characterized by behavioral problems including inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. In spite of what some people might believe, ADHD (or ADD) is real and it can have negative repercussions in one’s life. Don’t minimize its significance and impact. We certainly have a lot to learn and spread awareness (especially in a country like India) about this disorder and what it really implies. Yet, just because we don't fully understand something, doesn't mean we can deny its existence.

Also, there is a stigma attached to the word “disorder.” People assume that it means something is unbalanced or dysfunctional. In a sense, that is what it means, but that should not be interpreted as an implication that something is unnatural. Our inherent imperfections are what make us both human and unique. Not to mention, something is only “dysfunctional” when the system refuses to accommodate it. If people understood ADHD better, then it wouldn't be viewed as such a debilitating ailment or something to be cured. I've ADHD for as long as I remember and it’s no fun!

A lot of stuff never made sense to me before I actually discovered this “explorer gene”.

Normal people have a sort of mental secretary that takes most of the irrelevant crap that crosses their mind, and simply deletes it before they become consciously aware of it. As such their mental workspace is like a huge clean whiteboard ready to hold and organize information.

ADHD people have no such luxury. Every single thing that comes in the front gets written directly in bold, underlined red letters no matter what has to be erased in order for it to fit.

It has a significant social impact on one's life, causing disruption at school, work, home and in relationships. It's kind of like your brain is moving at a different pace than the rest of world, like having a Ferrari brain but with chevy brakes. You become a mess of your own thoughts. It’s like driving in the rain with faulty windshield wipers.  Moments of clarity along with lots of blur.

Having a normal conversation can be a serious challenge. I have to struggle to stay in the moment when talking to someone, paying attention or waiting, and the whole experience is so tiring that I find myself avoiding situations that will involve a lot of social interactions or detail. It's hard to collaborate with anyone and to be in tune with someone else.

Doing mundane things can also be incredibly difficult. When a task isn't sufficiently stimulating and you lack the focus to address it, it ends up becoming an unmanageable source of anxiety. This could be little things like making a phone call or checking your email. Your style of thinking is nonlinear and you have to parse things non-linearly which makes it difficult to follow the mental preferences of other people. Unless something is super-exciting or addicting, it takes an immense amount of activation energy in order to do anything at all.

Although ADHD doesn’t cause learning disabilities but people with ADHD are more likely to have complications like OCD, Bipolarity, Anxiety disorders, Depression etc. Obviously, it presents a huge issue. This is why the experience of being ADHD can be so isolating and why many adults mistake it for depression or something other.

The ADHD tendency to hyperfocus can, in some situations, be a really good thing. The same mechanism that makes you obsess over a hobby can also make obsess over a hard problem until a solution seems to come to you out of nowhere. Unfortunately, thinking about problems isn't all society asks of you. You have to manage relationships, take care of your body, pay bills and juggle a hundred other things, which can all be very hard when your brain makes you miserable every second you're not doing that thing you are supposed to and can't stop thinking about.

To put it simply, ADHDers are wired differently and they experience persistent symptoms and functional impairments which varies at each stage of life, depending upon its severity. It affects not only the lives of the patients themselves, but also their families and carers. It deteriorates the overall quality of life.

However there is a brighter side to ADHD. It’s worth noting that some of the trait’s most common characteristics – creativity, multi-tasking, risk-taking, high energy and even resilience– are, in fact, strengths when leveraged in the right way and in the right career. Of course in our over-diagnosed, over-medicated culture, we choose to only focus on the negative aspects of ADHD, which include procrastination, inability to concentrate, forgetfulness, disorganization and easily distracted. One easy way to think about ADHD is having a low boredom threshold. Those with the trait become frustrated with routine, whether that includes sitting in a classroom for eight hours a day, or spending time chained to a desk at the office performing routine tasks. But there is so much more to this trait that can be leveraged to an advantage.

ADHDers are often at their best in crisis mode, multi-tasking and free associating to intuitively reach a solution. And if they find something they truly love to do, they are able to focus for hours on end.

ADHD is the price paid for creativity.

ADHD are innately creative and entrepreneurial. Daydreaming can lead to some pretty monumental ideas. Entrepreneurship fits perfectly with the ADHDer’s need for stimulation and a willingness to take risks. Individuals with ADHD possess innate energy, grit, creativity, originality, insight and interpersonal skills. And these are the ingredients of entrepreneurship.

I think it's often served as a source of strength for me. In spite of the lifelong malady that is ADHD, people affected by it can thrive. ADHD may allow you to thrive as an entrepreneur. Embrace it, and leverage your condition to achieve success.

All in all, having ADHD makes life paradoxical. You can superfocus sometimes, but also space out when you least mean to. You can radiate confidence and also feel as insecure, can perform at the highest level but feeling incompetent as you do so. You can be loved by so many, but feel as no one really likes you. You can absolutely intend to do something, then forget to do it. You can have the greatest ideas but feel as if you can’t accomplish a thing.

But, India is a terrible place to have ADHD. Citing ADD/ADHD for reason of underperformance and underachievement is laughed at. More because it is still unheard of, and people are not aware. People with ADHD/ADD go their entire lives being told they are lazy, unorganized etc. Even psychiatrists in India are skeptical about the validity of this disorder.  If you have ADD, it’s your damn problem. You might be considered dull and be even forced to push on.

ADHD is not a new thing. There always has been people in past who were ADHD but these people never had to sit 7-8 hours in school or office. They were thinkers, philosophers, writers working on their own terms and was always in control of their work environment. But in modern world ADHD is a big curse. Only way out is to find a work environment where you are in control.

By the way as per research conducted wrt ADD/ADHD, the people with ADD/ADHD are generally more intelligent than their counter parts (Not a rule of thumb though). It is just that they need to find something that really interests them before the actual flow starts to kick in.

So, never sell yourself short because of ADHD, be proud and use the abilities ADHD gives you. It's not a disability; It's a different ability.

People should think before they judge. ADHD is not a choice, learned behavior, temper tantrum, a willpower issue or an inability to willingly control oneself. It is a medical condition, chemical imbalance, a big deal to those who suffer with it, a fight to fit in, a struggle to develop relationships, deathmatch to maintain focus, a war to maintain brain and body, a REAL thing!

Please educate before you conversate.
It's hard and its real. There’s a reason we are, the way we are.








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I Lost Myself Somewhere Along the Way

on Jan 21, 2014

I feel like I’ve lost my sense of belonging. I’m an outsider lost in limbo.

I used to be a much less complicated person. Life was fairly easy and carefree, and I had no stresses. I was confident in who I was, what I was doing...where my life was going. 

There have been many twists and turns along the way in my journey, and somewhere on that road I've misplaced some elements of my personality. I have changed into someone I don't always recognize. Certain experiences in life have left me closed off from people when they press about my feelings, I prefer to work through things on my own. I also feel I am a little more hard heated than I used to be. Become more steeled to the things that I used to be affected by. It is almost like having temporary amnesia sometimes. I thought I was one type of person, and as the days go by I realize that I am not that person anymore. It is like I have forgotten how to be the person I once was, and all I have now is the parts that are left. Life is all about evolving and growing as a person right? Experience changes you, things happen that steer the course of your life in a different direction from where you thought you were going.

As far as pondering the unknowns of my identity, fatal flaws and the uncertainty of my future (The Dark Side, this is); I am in many ways lost. In this case my mind is lost in a sea of expanding shapes that I can't comprehend. One concept that's bugging me today is love. As farfetched as it sounds.
 
An Intense Love Alone Is No Good For Anyone

You always throw your love at me, and squeeze me and confine me with your love. You don't know what that feels like. You never do. Wow! Maybe something close would be like you are not in love with someone but that someone is extremely, intensely in love with you. And he pursues you, he chases you, and he spys on you anywhere. That's the way you make me feel. I am sorry, unfortunately, that is what it is. If it sounds very bad, forgive me; but it is true sometimes. I feel: Oh, help, help! I need space. You do love me that's for sure, definitely. But your love is so intense, sometimes it kills me. Yes, truly. I cannot work with you if you carry your love around on your shoulders like that, without diffusing it, without controlling it. Just like you have a very good radio or television, but you don't control the volume to adjust for your hearing ability and your space as well as those of the neighbors. You know? And it becomes a disturbance, an annoyance instead of a pleasure. But never mind, I will keep telling you like this all the time, until the day I die. And then you will keep doing what you do and loving me the way you do, just till the day you die. And we both try very hard to accommodate each other. Well, that is the way it is. I never saw anyone in the world like you, I mean, like you the disciples; it's terrifying. It really takes nerves and energy to withstand all this loving energy directed to you at all times and from all directions. This tremendous amount of energy makes you unbalanced, unnerved, if you are not stable enough, if you are not strong enough; and you know I am only so small. When someone loves you with such intensity of fire of the first love, of the last love, of the forever, lasting, sickening love, oh God, you are killed on the spot. And that is what I have to work through. You know, it takes a tremendous amount of resistance, strong power, whatever it is, I don't know.

For anyone, such an intense love is no good, no good for the recipient as well as for the one who projects this love. No good for both. It takes a tremendous amount to project something like that and it takes a tremendous amount to reject something like that. So both are in a battlefield. You know, it's very difficult, especially when I have to work, when I have to deal with mundane things. That is, mundane things are what we have to do in the worldly way. And you can't at the same time be explaining or taking care of this emotional matter. But you don't know any space and time. You are above space and time. Anywhere I am, any time I am there, you go berserk, you go crazy. So that's the problem with us! The true love makes people feel very light all the time, and not obliged, not burdened. That's why you always want to see me..But my love is very light, carefree, no binding. But your love is intense, heavy sometimes, or too forceful and demanding my attention... 

But You know what! Over the time, along the course, you've become a part of my life. You are my refuge. Though excess of love is pernicious but you're the only light I need. In a world filled with bleakness and hopelessness you are truly my beacon. Your love shines brighter than a million stars and I know it will always guide me home... I never expected to find such a love as grand as this and even though it hasn't been expressed with words I can feel it with each breath and every beat of my heart... 

Because You're my Twin-Flame!

You'll guide me to home...
You'll make my life...
You'll make me!



Lost, Confused And Scared. I don't know what to do...
At this point in my life..
I feel like I'm going nowhere fast...
I feel like everything I do is so pointless...
So . . . I don't know...
I feel like I'm alive
but I'm not really living...
I feel like I'm lost.
Like I'm alone in a sea of people...
I'm scared.
It just keeps getting worse and worse...
Everything..
Like I'm falling down a well...
And everyday,
with every breath,
every step,
every word,
I'm just falling deeper and deeper in...
So deep I can barley see the light..
But I still can...
I can still see the little light...
As dim and as faint as it may be...
Its still there...
And that's enough to keep me going...
But other then that...
Other then that faint flicker of light..
I don't know what to do...

I Need the Fire Back!

on Aug 26, 2012
Failure has been my company forever. At times, I feel like I'm in a bubble of failure I can't seem to get out from. I forget how success tastes like now. It seems to me like something that is far away I can't seem to reach. I sunk deep into depression and failure. For the last four years I've been going though a bit of a tough time.


When you fail, you'll be facing many emotional and psychological changes in the self. It is never easy and sometimes it may cause you to give up what you love. But failure is what makes you become more mature. In my own experience, every time I failed, I learned something new which I needed to overcome. Yes, I hate these experiences, but they make me better and make me accept that failure is a part of life. The only question is what to do in order to get back up again?

Lots of my days were black on me. I don't know if this will end, but I am aware my ambition to succeed is deep-rooted and will not diminish by uncountable failures. Nonetheless, it hurts, and it's disappointing, and I'm tired of dropping on the bed hopeless and with pain in my heart, crying myself to sleep. But I still have hope in my heart. Perhaps, because this was a company I really wanted to join.

For some reason, there were no flashbacks or memories of the past few years. It was yet again, the same story, with the same debauched ending. Me walking hope dejected. Yet again.

A part of me is missing. I act like I'm okay, but inside is a volcano waiting to explode with pain, remorse, guilt, lies, screams, and cries..I not only feel dead inside but alone even if I'm not.

My recent past has been this dark cloud that has hung over my head, one that never seems to pass, for I just don't know how to let it go. Some parts are things I've done to myself, other parts are things that have been done towards me. But all parts are things that remain in my mind and hold me back from living the life that I deserve.

I have succeeded and failed, won and lost, stood up and stumbled. There are times when I feel that I stumble far more than I stand, but I won't ever give up on making my life what it is meant to be. Sometimes the days seem far darker than I could have imagined them to be, but I know that there is an ever growing light within me that has always been there, and I reach for it, I strive for it. I am resilient, and I will win!

I often find myself in moments of defeat.I found my darkness as a place of comfort for so many years, but it is no longer comfortable to remain there. I will continue to stumble, we all do. But never will I remain on my knees at the mercy of my own victim. I will always find a way up, on my own, and I will fight for the happiness that I deserve. I won't ever give up on me.


As the years go by and time fades away...
What used to be "good days" are now filled with dismay...

Tomorrow comes, and then again, it goes...

And my ambition to become something more, grows and grows...

Around the corner, yet miles away...

The life I want now, gets closer each day...

I’ve been basing my life upon what others think...


I wish I could go back and redo everything...

I've fought to become who I am and what I want to be...

I have to remind myself that one day, I will be free...
Free from the rules I followed as a child...
When everything was a game and life was so mild...

Now times have changed and I realize nothing is fair...

And sometimes it seems like nobody even cares...
It’s like no one pays attention to what I feel is best for me...
And what I think about the way some things should be...

I understand now, that I’m pretty much on my own...

And I know a lot of what I can do will never be known...

On the edge of Solitude

on Jan 2, 2012
I’ve observed a certain pattern: the older I get, the more introvert I become. It wasn’t always like this. I used to be much more sociable. I like people; I guess most of those that I come across daily would never suspect I’m a loner. I’m friendly and people say I’m easy to talk to. I guess it’s true, but the fact is, I’m usually the listener during a conversation. I can be very expressive when I come across a kindred spirit and yet, it doesn’t happen very often in RL.
 
It's kind of a double-edged sword being alone and enjoying it sometimes. I actually am quite lonely most of the time..But there are times when I value my alone time and don't feel lonely at all. We all know, Solitude is good. It makes you explore worlds within and without, and it can be the best of teachers. But too often it turns to loneliness. For me,so far it has always been loneliness, and while I'm enjoying some of the benefits of solitude, I'm also being consumed by loneliness, gradually. Never a single moment of happiness with a beloved person, Never a single moment of happiness at all, in the past few years. All the kindness and tenderness I might have, is fully being to waste as I'm being devoured by loneliness...
 
At a certain moment in my life I’ve discovered that I feel quite comfortable in my own company. It gives me freedom, focus and peace.I love being alone in silence. The idea of scattering my thoughts somewhere into space, sharing them with the universe, appeals to me. I find beauty in it. And it is enough for me, most of the time. Of course I long for genuine connection with another human being too, but I’ve come to realize that you can’t have it with just anyone and I’ve accepted that.
 
But the line between solitude and loneliness can be so fine. The solitude is amazing and comforting. I love it. But it always brings loneliness when I finally achieve that perfect solitude space. But I'm finally starting to find balance. There is a quote and I can't remember who it is attributed to but it is something like:
"Loneliness is the pain of being alone, while solitude is the glory of being alone." I consciously decided to isolate myself in 2008. I like the freedom that comes from the solitude and isolation. Part of it is also independence. I never bother people with my issues, unless there is some concrete action they can take, which would help me. 
 
I am one of those types of people that feel more alone when I am with other people. It's something about the pace of things...I'm not really sure. My Mom told me that when I was a baby I was totally content just sitting or laying around and look at things. She said I could 'entertain' myself for hours on end and I can say that this fact has not changed at all as I've aged, nor do I think it ever will. I've stopped wondering why. I feel so much more comfortable and confident now being able to tell people, "No, I just need to be alone for a little while," and not be worried about offending them. Or if I do offend them I don't feel any ill will towards them -- I can understand why they might react that way. But at the same time I know that it's just something that I need to do and that there's no sense in fighting it or making consolations. Solitude is the place where all possibilities merge and mesh together into this most incredible thing, this astonishing thing that I can't put into words but can't keep myself from coming back to day after day after day. Solitude is limitlessness. It is what I look forward to the most every single day of my life. It is the home that I always come back to. And the sky above knows my name... I could walk here forever... 
 
And it is important. When things are difficult, when important decisions need to be considered, when you just have to get away from it all. There's nothing more satisfying than having a little time to yourself. No distractions just find a quiet place and just unwind and let the chatter in your mind fade away to nothingness.  
 
When I was younger, the need of company is very important to me. I never had any serious relationship but I do have many friends. Now I’ve realized spending sometime alone is something that I truly needed. Maybe I’m still young for some people; but I feel old. I’ve been experiencing many things. How to be on top, how it feels when you're down. Though I have no chance to experience all the things in the world, I feel like I’ve known it all.. Like I know what I’m here for. I want to see something extraordinary..something new..Just me and the never ending quest to understand life...

I remember as a child I used to sit alone watching the trees and birds. I feel a sense of calmness when I do it even now. I introspect a lot. I would not call my self a loner. I just happen to be at peace with being only by myself. Dont get me wrong, I love my friends and family, but sometimes I just need to be alone…
 
Sometimes, In solitude I can just enjoy being myself.I don't really miss being alone. I know how to enjoy the little things in life alone. I can hear my thoughts and feel my feelings without judgment. But loneliness gives me a sense of loss and foreboding. Unfortunately I do have both.
 
I've noticed to grow very sarcastic and ironic after losing my people around me. It's sickening. I like being alone but at the same time, I'm lonely. I want to find someone I can be alone with. I know, its weird and doesn't really make sense. I don't get it myself.Personal solitude and own little world are an important thing to me. And sometimes it's just not enough. The issue for me is that I'm an exceptionally unique individual with a rather quiet way about him. It's usually very hard for me to communicate with others unless they say something that catches my ear. Though sometimes it's hard for me to express myself in words. As a result I may appear a little less intelligent,or at-least less verbal. I have always heard that everything happens for a reason. I can't stand when I hear that. Things are just weird.
 
I live on the edge of Loneliness. I'm not forced their by anyone, it's where I choose to live. I'm introverted by nature. I'd rather be alone most of the time. The problem with my position is that its a fine line between contentment on the edge of Loneliness and the torment of complete isolation. I shy away from interacting with people yet I'm depressed when I don't.  
 
I have been withdrawn from life, or so it seems. My life has become some sort of roller coaster, where I am the one who has been stuck on the tracks, not really knowing if I'm on the bottom, or on the top. I have lost much; for some reason or another. I just seem to have fallen into a ditch. I float around, doing absolutely nothing, I am sick of everyone, including my family. I do not wish to be a slave any longer, that's how I feel, slave-like. Have you ever wondered why people act the way they do? Like, how your life could go from you being the center of attention, everyone loving you and wanting to be around you at every minute, and everything is perfect, from your perspective and then suddenly, it crashes. It ceases to exist and you feel like you're constantly wearing an invisibility cloak that you cannot seem to take off. Well, this has happened to me. Nobody seems to care. I mean, yeah I suppose its my own fault that I've gotten myself into this rut for wondering where I went wrong. But you know what? Blaming doesn't help.
 
What have I become? How will this useless mockery end? I need someone, anyone, really. But with the loss of most of my old friends and relationships, I've lost my faith in any relationships. Everyone seems so damn fake to me. Most of the relationships, friendships are all selfishness based. Everyone I meet these days is a reflection of how I feel which I find to be kind of selfish.I need to swap up my belief system. Oh well. I guess there is a time to grow up...and I'm not dealing well with this change at all. I'm needing Something. I want to be an adult about every situation I've encountered, but I figure that if I go back to the people I used to spend my time with, they're just going to make fun of me for having such horrible problems, that really, aren't problems at all. I'm just whining and complaining about nothing. If people are the basis of my worries, then who needs em? I'll go back to being a loner and be proud of it. Yep sounds good. I'm gonna get used to it too, because I feel like I'm going to be alone for a very long time...

That's all folks!

The Sprouted Spirituality

on Sep 22, 2011
In my last three years, stumbling to revive self, I came in touch with various identities that I already had. I’m more or less perceived to be a tech-lover, but that is only one of my identities. Primarily, I’m a Spiritualist and a Geek in my second avatar!

Belief in a divine entity dominated my thought ever and ever since I have been following him. I hear from the Supreme and I always felt like driven by an unknown force (the Supreme). I can see the hand of God in every aspect of life. Like many others, spirituality was grained in me, being born in a religious family but the firm belief I’ve acquired is due to my own subjective experience I have had till now.

Spirituality induced solitariness in me and in the recent years my belief has only increased. Solitariness,  yes because it is the derivative of Spiritualism. It raises the man above the plane of worldliness. It rebuilds the lost sense of direction and one following it attains faith in action gradually and is sure to bind into solitariness. Rare people get into it, who are a great endurer and a prisoner of their own thought. I'm a prisoner of my own thought and my thoughts are my message. But I believe people with no faith in a transcendental power will never learn what, the ultimate reality is, anyway. I doubt people who perceive gods as an illusion are never the ruler; my opinion, may be wrong, but it is no exaggeration to say that such people cannot achieve the supreme bliss, liberty or realize-self. Also, people who are firm in their belief and action go through trodden-tracks, which strengthen them. I've faced extreme somberness in the recent few years which left me into the depth of oblivion. Hopefully now the split between the dark and dawn seems to be narrowing.

Optimism leads to achievement; and that's what I have in full. I do not panic. I'm optimistic about the results. Even after a series of failures I stood firm. Each time I failed; I felt empowered. God's will! I laud the supreme for bestowing me with the courage to endure. I'm confident, if I survived in such a situation, I can demolish any hindrance in my path. This is God's grace that ignites the flame of vengeance, which otherwise must remain dormant. It is effective to those with purity and are determined.
                                            
I hate people who in-spite of much evidence dismiss the fact of existence of God. It is beyond my power to induce in them a belief in God. There are certain things which are self-proved and certain which are not proved at all. I've read several books based on life and spiritual evolution. Proofs are many; I cannot sum-up them here in one post. There are numerous phenomena from which you can reason out the existence of God.
                                                                                                                                                                                        
I just finished reading Mani Bhaumik's Code Name God, a must must read. Code Name God is an eye-opener for all. When I heard about this book, the name was was the first thing that struck my mind. When I read the tag-line "The Spiritual Odyssey of a man of Science", I ordered it. Code Name God is an amalgamation of eastern and western epistemology. Dr. Mani Lal Bhaumik, an India-born, American scientist draws the parallels between Science and Spirituality through his personal experience of life. The book is a bit autobiographical in nature. Born on a mud floor, Dr. Bhaumik survived colonial oppression, epidemic and famine to earn a Ph.D. from IIT and later a fellowship from University of California. He's the co-inventor of LASIK, holds an honorable lifetime D.Sc. degree from the IIT. Through his spiritual odyssey he has tried to find the common ground between Spirituality and Science and how they both are complementary to each other and important for us. He has eloquently explained how Quantum Physics lends support to the basic concept of God and it makes for fascinate reading. All-in-all it justifies;


     Science without religion is lame; Religion without science is blind.


For some people religion and spirituality is merely a silly faith. Giving rational explanations are useless; it is beyond their mind-grasp. To get enlightened spiritually, they need to unlearn a lot of literature which deviates their mind. It is pathetic that a man can be so spiritually dead as to have no love for God. But if such a person does exist, take a careful note of his career; and you'll find that he may be a man of high rank, of noble family but; but these great advantages will not save him from oblivion.
I walk completely in faith. It works for me and is a very calming realization. It brings an elated state of mind and provides the ability to act with a great clarity of mind. Though it has been a long abeyance waiting for the dawn, I believe he has switched-off all the lights to throw a surprise party, as I always say, its always darkest just before the dawn…

theDoyen.net | First Release

on Apr 5, 2010
I'm happy to publish this Website,explicitly dedicated to Computing .In my past 6 years of computing experience,I have been stumbling,like a normal tech-guy and have met others practicing the same.Taking all that into account,I have landed here with a broader prospect,to make it a Computing Portal. Initially, I'll try to review and update the information and features constantly to keep pace with the latest trend and to attract users as well.Once it is set rolling,I'll keep integrating new features. However I'll write here about my own experiences too.You may feature your products at the Products Gallery. In nutshell,I aim to provide users a computing-friendly environment so that they feel at home.I feel that your valuable comments could make this project more interesting.I welcome your ideas for improvement in making my services more useful to the masses.


Wishing you happy Computing!
 
First Release : 6th April 2010

UPCOMING

on Nov 19, 2009

Watch the Trailer

video
Watch this Video on Youtube



Welcome to the New Wave ...
 
Experience the Ultimate in Multimedia Support ...
 
For the Agile Business ...

and Gaming ...


Powered By - Windows Kernal
Manufactured By - Prashant Deepak

the CoMPuTeR |s PerSoNaL AgA|n

on Jun 27, 2009

Back with HP Pavilion Desktop PC...






Phew! Back to computing after a year , a nightmare indeed with a long to-do list. And what to tell of the hellfire...






My custom Aurora OS

on Aug 29, 2008
465213
   

Aurora sports a visual design that combines a sleek look,clean lines and appealing colors and a task oriented design and exceptionally streamlined navigation.Build on the Gold Edition of Windows XP SP3,provides an Identical look of Vista on XP Platform,thus acts as a bridge between the two.A lot of brain storming and diligence have gone to design and develop this product,an effort of extreme Modifications.Still I believe that there is a scope of improvement.I modified the OS in about 6 months time,to enjoy Vista Mods on XP! and found that several modifications could be done for our own ease and reliability.


What is in Aurora ?

Includes all previously released updates for the operating system, and a small number of new updates to ensure that Windows XP customers have the latest updates for their system.Includes all hot-fixes till August 2008.


Special Features

  • QuickThemes (One-Click)
  • PNG Image for Boot-Screen (all size)
  • Optional Vista Transformation Mods , icons , toolbar
  • Vista's Windows Cascader
  • New Power Toys
  • Vista's Start Menu,Dialog Boxes,Logon Screen
  • Essential applications and tools (includes New MS Agent Characters)...and much more.

Enjoy Vista Mods on XP!